An Empty Shell

by Rollie J.

A gorgeous spring day had been birthed for us to enjoy. After a cozy, warming coffee around our morning campfire and downing some delicious and nutritious donuts, it was time for a walk-about, explore and see what we could find.

Shane and I were out for a two-day camping trip in the Sheyenne grasslands south of town. We had made a comfy campsite on a hillside overlooking a vast prairie. Our hammocks and tarps were hung amongst the numerous oak trees and life was good. And now day two was wide open for exploring.

We roamed freely over the rolling grasslands and oak covered savanna. Blue skies and a slight breeze made for a perfect day. Conversations flowed freely as we poked and prodded here and there with the positive expectations of finding cool stuff. Nature is always generous to those who take the time to immerse and embrace time amidst God’s creation.

We left some of the higher hills descending into a thickly wooded valley. It appeared as though a swamp or beaver pond might be located at the bottom, so we picked our way through the brambles of raspberry thickets, and thick brush and were finally rewarded by the shimmering silver-blue water of a large beaver pond. Bingo!

We picked our way along the edge and finally made the intersection of the beaver dam with the shoreline. We planned to use the dam as a convenient walkway back to the other hillside to head back to camp. Beaver ponds are filled with all kinds of wildlife and the muddy dams are great places to look for the tracks of fellow travelers like us seeking a shortcut.

Just as we began our balancing act across the narrow stick and mud dam, I noticed a small painted turtle in the matted down swamp grass. Whoohoo! Now that’s something cool to find!

I scrambled down into the grass and reached for the shell, raising it up to my face for better look. Instantly I knew and could feel something was not right. As I raised it to eye level, my touch told me it was too light, and sure enough it was nothing but an empty shell. I could look right through it. A turtle shell for sure. But is was empty. No one was home. It was now nothing but a lifeless empty shell.

Disappointing, but also a neat find for use later. Maybe a Native American rattle, oil lamp bowl, or a dish. Who knows? I tucked it in my pocket.

Upon arriving home and cleaning up I placed the shell in one of many “treasure boxes” that hold interesting finds like this. As I opened the box, I realized that I had four other shells of various sizes. I now had a group of five empty shells!

But five empty shells that look similar do not make a family. Nor a church. Nor a work team. Nor a friendship group. And yet so much of our world these days is empty, void of real life, and vacant of meaning. There is a hollowness to our routine and daily life.

Turtles, even when living, are famous for hiding behind their shells for physical protection. But we as humans often withdraw into our shells and hide behind a mask of pleasantness, “Minnesota Nice,” churchy politeness, or act chameleon-like in order to fit in. And much of the carapace that we hide behind is just façade. A masquerade that keeps us from true intimacy with others.

Much of our masculine world these days is smokescreen, pretense, and veneer. John Eldredge in his superb book “Wild at Heart,” writes this about modern men. “Posers. We are hiding every last one of us. Well aware that we, too are not what we were meant to be, desperately afraid of exposure, terrified of being seen for what we are and are not. We have run off into the bushes. We hid in our office, at the gym, behind the newspaper and mostly behind our personality. Most of what you encounter when you meet a man is a façade, an elaborate fig leaf, a brilliant disguise. One hundred and fifty years ago Throreau wrote, 'The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.' It seems not much has changed. A line from Braveheart has it, 'All men die, few men ever really live.' The real life of the average man seems a universe away from the desires of his heart.”

We’ve been raised to climb the corporate ladder at all costs only to arrive at the top and find nothing but emptiness. We’ve been told to achieve the American Dream, to get and accumulate all the good stuff, only to find that palaces full of good stuff… are empty and hollow of meaning. The gorgeous and seductive “Amazon.com Fairy” lures us with “one click” dreams of happiness. The world promises us: “newer is better.” If we only had the new… we’d be happy; new car, new house, new outfit, new spouse, new church, new purse, new drug, new fishing rod, new job, new body, new golf clubs, new friends and the list goes on.

Sometimes emptiness is thrust upon us due to life’s circumstances. Frustrations and loneliness of waiting for a wedding ring to appear on your finger. The agony of a young woman with an empty womb waiting and praying for a child. A tattered and conflictive marriage. A tragic accident. A brutal divorce. The loss of a child, or life partner. The onset of cancer or long-term illness. A broken relationship. The loss of job and steady income. An addiction gone out of control. The slow fade of a beloved parent sliding down the slippery slope of Alzheimer’s. Ongoing battles with depression or anxiety. The list goes on.

But emptiness is a common condition of the human experience. It comes with the turf of living this crazy existence.  Humankind has wrestled with emptiness since we wandered out from the caves. I believe that just maybe, God built emptiness into the human heart. He purposely created us with a hole in our hearts. A space and place that can only be filled by Him. Emptiness is a gift… when it leads you back to the One true thing that can fill it. God himself.

Personally, I have had many stages and times in my life that I felt like an empty shell. I may have appeared good or competent, or like I had my act together on the outside, but that was just a shell or façade. For fear of disapproval or unacceptance, I wore the mask. I think this is common for most of us on the journey of life. But for those of us who pursue God searching for His truth, He will always restore us and fill us with his love and purpose.

So, if you’re feeling empty, come to Jesus in surrender. Ask Him to show you the “what, how, and who” of the false fillers you’re using to give your life meaning. Then allow the Holy Spirit to renew and fill your life with passion, purpose and meaning from within. 

-- Rollie J.