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Even at 92 his intellect is clear as he spices all conversations and correspondence with strong doses of wit and humor even in difficult or trying times. He is always seeking to grow and learn, and even took up painting a couple of years back from a course offered in a nearby park. He is quite talented at this, and I admire him for continuing to grow and experience new concepts, ideas, and hobbies even now as he ages.
I have always had a strong affection for and deep love for Pupa, but, maybe more so in recent years as we both walk down the aging road. He is one who has always believed in me, cheered me on, and showered on me “atta boys” even when I didn’t really believe in myself. He continues to do that to this day. I have been the lucky recipient of his rich love, affection, and generosity over all these years. Pupa has always shown great patience for my enthusiastic but often grammatically poor Spanish. I’ve always felt my mistakes were safe within his presence.
Two summers ago, Enrique lost his beautiful wife, Yolanda Margarita, after a difficult and prolonged battle with dementia. It was a trying time for him, my wife Ady, and all her siblings. To watch your strong, wise, and loving wife or mother of so many years slide and fade into the fog and oblivion of this gut-wrenching disease was heartbreaking.
Of late Enrique and I converse frequently via cell phone and emails. Again, Pupa has stayed active, and current with technologies of computers and cellphones to interact with friends and relatives. I’m always amazed by his keen use of these tools at 92.
Last week, we got a call. Enrique’s last good friend from a life-long friendship group had passed way. Enrique was now the last one, the last man standing, the last gentleman of his group. Enrique was now the last of his generation of relatives and friends. These losses have been happening over several years, but now the realization seemed to have greater significance and impact.
As we conversed, I could hear the melancholy and sadness in his voice. I could also hear the voice of realism and resignation in understanding the reality of life. “None of us live forever, and I have lived a good and wonderful life,” I heard him mumble. And interspersed with the grieving I also heard hope, and large doses of gratitude. “Well, I still have my health, I walk every day in the nearby park, have a loving family, and I’m looking forward to coming to Fargo this summer! I can’t wait to see you all.”
As with all of us, Enrique has suffered through the additional isolation of COVID-19. This suffering is a world-wide equalizer that we share with everyone across the planet. As I correspond with people from Argentina to Alaska, India to Peru, we are all walking through this crazy and unknown pandemic together, yet many, especially our elderly, do so all alone. Pupa has for months now been isolating alone in his house. His other children bring him groceries and supplies, wearing masks but with no physical interacting or hugging for fear of infection. I can only imagine his sense of isolation and loneliness, both in this time of life, and in this specific time in our common history.
These months of living in the pandemic, have caused a great many of us to really look inward at our lives. We’ve had to hunker down, evaluate our spending of money, our use of time, learn about what’s really important, and what’s not. Many of us are looking to let go of certain activities, belongings, and clutter that add to the rat race of our lives. We are learning to prioritize, to sift out the chaff, and let go. Many of us are reevaluating what drives the train of our busy lives.
With so much time on our hands, and living in repetitive boredom of isolation, many of us have been pondering the meaning of life. We’re asking deeper questions of who we are, what we are actually here for, and what are we doing with what we’ve been given with our time, possessions, and resources? We are reevaluating relationships, work, and family.
Last week I officiated a funeral for a dear old soul. I was reminded once again, that when our time is up, we leave this world alone. Even though we may be surrounded by friends and loved ones at our bedside, those final steps into the unknown we make by ourselves, the same way we entered the world. Our earthly popularity, fame, wealth, accomplishments, trophies, property, belongings, titles, and status stay here. None of those help us make the journey through that final door.
Maybe there are two golden nuggets in all of this. First and most importantly, do you know, follow, and love your Creator? His name is Jesus and he promises to be here both in this life we lead day to day, and to hold our hand as we walk through that final doorway called death. Myself, I would not want to journey through this life without Him. We are also promised what we cannot see nor prove, a much better life on the other side with Him.
Secondly, are you living your life in such way to make a positive difference in our world? Are you using what you’ve been given (blessings); time, resources, money, belongings, talents and abilities to bless someone else? Does your life have purpose and meaning beyond consuming resources and living for self? One way to check this would be to look at your calendar and your checkbook. These often hold clues about our actual priorities.
And so, to my “suegro,” mentor, friend, teacher, and father figure Enrique Pinto, I thank you. I salute you. You are a rich blessing in my life. Thanks for teaching me about love, life and family. With deep gratitude and love, Te quiero mucho.
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