Both Sides Now

by Rollie J.

Alien spacecraft hovers over rescue workers!

Or maybe not. There are always two sides to every story. Look further down the page to see both sides, now.

The innocence and dreams of our youth do not last very long. Life has a way of crushing those hopes with a large painful dose of reality. Life’s events and happenings are not always linear. Success or contentment does not always follow a straight line. There are mistakes, wrong turns, detours, roadblocks, two steps forward and 23 steps backwards. Illnesses, bad decisions, addictions, tragedy, floods, fires, hurricanes, betrayals, losses, cancers, births, deaths, job losses, mean bosses, and failures all along our road of life.

Listen to this wonderful song by Joni Mitchell. It is a remake of her original made popular in the beautiful movie Love Actually. This song is haunting and never fails to put me into a contemplative, reflective, and pensive mood. Often it makes me a bit melancholic. Not in a bad or depressive way, but it speaks to me and moves me to deeper levels of thought and feeling.  

Joni in this song speaks of the innocence of youth looking at clouds like ice cream castles in the air, angel hair, and feathered canyons. But now with maturity, aging and the time and distance of life, she sees the other side of clouds that bring rain and difficulty and terrifying storms. She sees both sides now. She sees also in love and life, that innocence is lost as the school of hard knocks and reality of life bear down with the full weight of heartache, disappointment, sadness, regret, and dreams unrealized.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 speaks to this quite eloquently. “When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became an adult, I put an end to childish ways.  For now we see in a mirror, dimly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know only in part; then I will know fully, even as I have been fully known. And now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; and the greatest of these is love.” Or maybe we could say; Love… Actually.

Motivational speakers and self-help books are a dime a dozen and inspire us to; “Dream it and achieve it! You can be anything you want to be! You have greatness with in you! Aim for the stars! All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them. Believe it! Achieve it! Receive it!” I am all for motivating. I am all for upholding a positive mental attitude of optimism, positivity, setting goals, and gratitude. But the reality of life for most of us, is that our hopes and dreams do not always come true. Reality and life teach us in very difficult ways through trials, suffering, pain, and storms, that love, marriage, work, family, relationships, church, and life is just plain hard and difficult.

In contradiction of most of the modern-day motivators, Bob Goff in his superb Devotional book, Live in Grace, Walk in Love, says; “One of the best swaps is when we replace who we thought we’d be with who God thought we’d be.” We can’t be all that we want to be… but we can be who God created us to be!” That is a huge difference!

Jesus speaks directly to this juxtaposition in these straight-talking, tough-love scripture verses:

“The person who loves their life will lose it, while the person who hates their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.” John 12:24-25

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

“If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.” Matthew 16:25

These verses speak clearly and with hard truth that you can’t be all that YOU want to be. But aligned with Jesus, you CAN be all that God created you to be. God’s purposes are higher and bigger than our own. And God’s role for you has to do with servanthood. Loving and serving others first.

Romans 8:28 speaks strong truth into our lives: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” We know from seeing and living the reality in both sides of life, love, and faith, that tough, difficult, hard, and tragic things will happen to us. Age, maturity, and life teaches us this hard truth. But God promises in these words that he will bring goodness, life, and healing from all situations. God will have the final word and say for those who love and follow Jesus.

So maybe you’re like me, and many of your dreams or hopes for your life have not come true the way you had thought or envisioned them. Maybe you can see now, through the lens of Romans 28, that God has been, and is at work in your life, but maybe differently than you had imagined. Maybe you can see through the dim mirror both sides now.

When I was in junior high, I was like so many young boys, dreamed of being a professional football player. That never came even close to fruition. But… I have been so fortunate in that for the past 12 plus years during the spring, summer, and fall, including today, I have had the privilege of throwing the football with my son Shane almost daily. We toss the pigskin back and forth laughing, talking, and discussing life. It is a huge source of contentment in my life.

When I was in high school and college, I had a hint of musical talent playing guitar and singing. Like many young people I wondered if I had what it took to make it big, to be a big rock star, or maybe a popular country singer. That never really panned out. But… for the past 25 years, I have had the privilege of making music with some wonderful friends leading worship at First Lutheran Church.

I have recently written and published two books with a third one almost ready to birth. When my first book came out, I had dreams and visions that Oprah would soon be calling and not long after I’d get a guest appearance on the Today Show. It turns out that just publishing a book doesn’t really get you too far. And there are thousands of others out there who publish books just like me. There’s a whole lot more to writing a book like marketing, self-promotion, financing, and plain ol’ luck. I haven’t made the Best Seller list… But I continue to get meaningful notes, cards, and emails from kindly folk who tell me that they’ve appreciated my words and that my books have helped them in their life and faith journey.

My life, like yours I imagine, has turned out much differently than what I imagined in my youth. Thank God! I will trust that my life’s course and direction is guided by His much wiser guiding hand. May you lean into Jesus and trust that He is guiding your life as it should be through the power and wisdom of his Holy Spirit. May you see the world from both sides now, and that God is still in control.

-- Rollie J.

Until we can honestly say; “I am who God says I am and that’s all that matters.” Our lives will be restless indeed.
― Rick Warren, Purpose Driven Life

You cannot be anything you want to be. But you can be everything God wants you to be.
― Max Lucado, Cure for the Common Life

“I don't think anyone aims to be typical, really. Most people even vow to themselves some time in high school or college not to be typical. But still, they just kind of loop back to it somehow. Like the circular rails of a train at an amusement park, the scripts we know offer a brand of security, of predictability, of safety for us. But the problem is, they only take us where we've already been. They loop us back to places where everyone can easily go, not necessarily where we were made to go. Living a different kind of life takes some guts and grit and a new way of seeing things.”
― Bob Goff, Love Does

The reason why so many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress is because they haven’t yet come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders and interfering with God’s work within us.
A.W. Tozer

Both Sides Now
Joni Mitchel
Rows and flows of angel hair, And ice cream castles in the air
And feather canyons every here, I’ve Looked at clouds that way
But now they only block the sun, They rain and snow on everyone
So many things I would have done, But clouds got in my way
I've looked at clouds from both sides now, From up and down and still somehow
It's cloud's illusions I recall, I really don't know clouds at all
Moons and Junes and ferries wheels, The dizzy dancing way that you feel
As every fairy tale comes real, I've looked at love that way
But now it's just another show, And you leave 'em laughing when you go
And if you care, don't let them know, Don't give yourself away
I’ve looked at love from both sides now, from up and down and still some how
it’s loves illusions I recall, I really don’t know love at all.
Tears and fears and feeling proud, to Say I love you right out loud.
Dreams and schemes and circus crowds, I've looked at life that way
Oh, but now old friends they're acting strange
And they shake their heads, they say I've changed
Well something's lost, but something's gained In living every day
I’ve looked at life from both sides now, from up and down and still come how
I really don’t know life at all.

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