As we sat for dinner, I found myself in the company of a very loving family. Rarely have I encountered three such well-mannered and polite children. “Pleases” and “thank yous” abounded. Jeanette turned out to be a very loving mother and gave lots of solid guidance and discipline to her three children. Suzanna loved her brothers and showered them with kisses and hugs. She played in the local high school marching band and worked part-time as a personal care attendant. She also loved the outdoors and did lots of camping through her local Venture crew. Jack proved to be a fun-loving, hyper, squirrely, and affectionate young kid. He was non-stop movement and chatter, and throughout my stay offered me several chest-crushing bear hugs. He too did online school and spent most of his days hunting and roaming the woods with his grandparents. It was rare to see him in the yard without his shotgun slung over his shoulder and a knife in his hands. My kind of dude for sure.
With no bear sighted in my short three-day hunt, the long drive home in the darkness Saturday night gave me lots of time to ponder and process. The juxtaposition of so many contrasting perceptions had my head shaking and smiling with laughter for all that I’d experienced.
Part of me pondered what was all this about? What was my role here? Was I being called to do something for or with this family? What brought me here in the first place? Was there a reason for my being present with this family? Had I learned anything of value or importance in these three days? What was God trying to teach me in these three days with these humble people? Firm answers remained out of my mental grasp.
The word judgment kept popping in my head. I’m realizing that I am quick to judge others based on first encounters or first impressions. I’m quick to assign categories and a thumbs up or down based on looks, appearances, clothing, behavior, or possessions. I had quickly judged this family from what I saw of their home and yard, and yet they had bored a hole in my heart with love and affection. I had been welcomed with caring affection, warmth, and friendship. My mind kept going back to Jack, standing in the light of my headlights, waiting in the driveway to bid me farewell. Jeanette had said I couldn’t leave until Jack had said goodbye. A 30-second bear hug from Jack was my parting gift. My judgments now seemed to turn back towards me.
Why is it that we are so quick to judge? So hasty to assess and categorize others? So swift to criticize based on outward appearances? So quick to condemn or belittle? So abrupt to assign value?
It matters not whether it’s a middle school physically abusive bully or the high school mean girl. It’s the same for us that walk the streets of downtown and look down upon and judge the homeless on the street corner with contempt and disgust. It’s the same when we judge our neighbor based on skin color, nationality, or religion. And worse yet is when judgment infects a church or individual with self-righteousness, and feelings of moral superiority. Add a divisive topic like abortion, pro-choice, climate change, or sexuality and we’ve added gasoline to the fire. Might as well throw in wearing a mask or not wearing a mask to the toxic mix these days! Think you’re not judgmental? Take an internal assessment of how you react to and mentally dialogue about others in the opposing political party.
Regardless of who, or what the topic of the day is, we all judge others. We judge out of our strong need to make ourselves feel better than the other. We judge to build ourselves up, make us feel superior, or enhance our fragile egos. “I’m right, they’re wrong.” “I’m better, they’re worse.” “I’m good, they’re bad.” We play a devious and self-deceptive mental game of putting down another, to build up ourselves. What an incredibly empty and hollow game we play. You might fool yourself, but you can’t fool God.
My time at bear camp has shown me that I’ve got significant internal work to do. I’ve got some big time confessing to do. And then… I can’t wait to get back to bear camp, and read more of the real book, for which I had judged by the cover.
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